Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We need to get me chipped asap
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
