I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
