just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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