dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
