I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
