Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
