Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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