worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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