Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Randomize
