So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I checked into jail on foursquare
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
is that a dick in a sweater?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
