I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
foreskin is a definite game changer
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
