let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize