I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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