I'm eating all of the evidence.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
