i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Oh god it's open bar.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
