What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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