I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
