So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
