You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize