fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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