fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
