If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
