Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize