I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize