just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize