You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Congratulations! We have a period
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
