PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
