puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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