Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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