just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
