Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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