I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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