Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
