yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
