Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
