can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
