So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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