I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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