Yo dont text me then not text me
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize