i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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