So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
