remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
