No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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