what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
