the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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