Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
All I want is dick and wine.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
