Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
