Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
third nipple confirmed
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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