Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize