How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize