oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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