i just wanna soil my oats bro
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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