I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
