Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
