R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize