it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
