everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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