My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
