He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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