id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize