yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
