They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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