Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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