i already hear my dad disowning me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
