i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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