Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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