omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you traded sex for a burrito?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
