This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
