Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
