Sry I called you an 8
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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