so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
did you just send me my own nude
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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